Today, I am presenting you with a challenge….
Have you noticed how the universe has a way of continually presenting us with the same situations and challenges until we learn the lesson embedded within? I had to be taken to the brink of personal bankruptcy not once, but twice to learn one of my life lessons, but the one that keeps coming back to hit me full on time and time again is this one….
You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself.
Ermmm, BUT, I hear you say, surely if you keep on and reason with people and highlight all the logical reasons why it would be better for them to change their ways; inspire them with your wisdom; share your experiences and empower them with the benefits of doing things differently, surely then, they will get it and shift eh? After all, you are only encouraging them to change because you care and you want them to have a better life and not make the same mistakes you made eh?
Sounds fair enough to me, so why it is that people reject your help and/or respond negatively to heartfelt interventions over and over again?
People change when they are good and ready to and very rarely before. They need to learn their own lessons, in their own way and in their own time and yes, I know this is frustrating but it is life, their life and unless they ask for help, or are in crisis, often our words and good intentions are meaningless and not always welcome. As a coach and game changer, it is my passion and purpose to create and empower personal change in others. But, in my professional capacity, my clients have given me permission to gently facilitate this journey, so my input is challenging but welcome. However, as far as everyone else is concerned my fixing and challenging is not quite as welcome and often I have to cover my mouth with duct tape and put myself in an emotional straight jacket just to stay silent and disassociated!
I know and understand the theory, for god’s sake I teach it! I walk the talk daily, people need to own their journey; we are all basing our decisions on the need to seek pleasure or avoid pain; you can only control your own response not others; if it’s outside your boat, let it go; when you change, the people around you will. blah blah blah. However, I admit sometimes, just sometimes, I would like to unlearn everything I know and just say it! And unfortunately I do and this brings me back to the universe and what I am here to learn!
You cannot change other people, you can only change yourself!
So here is my challenge to you – what is it you need to learn at the moment – what patterns do you keep repeating? What are the lessons? Love to hear them and I promise I will resist the urge to tell you what you need to do to change unless you ask!!