I have to say I do tend to get a little exasperated with the amount of New Year messages I receive at this time of year from well meaning personal development driven organisations telling me that if I just do this or that I can avoid all the obvious mistakes I made this year and miraculously my life will be so much better! Oh really?? Enough already!
As someone that most definitely does not invest one ounce of effort in the ritual of setting New Year Resolutions I find this time of year tiresome. Now before, you right me off as a total cynic or hypocrite; after all I too, am a key player in the personal development market and spend most of my professional life inspiring women and young girls to make life changes. My issue is not with the changes themselves but with the idea that we can only make them in January! Positive change can and should happen all year round and here’s another thing…..
The reason the majority of New Year’s Resolutions and many other goals are not achieved by millions of well intentioned individuals is not down to tardiness or personal failure it is because we set goals that have little or no synergy with our life values. Our values are our emotional drivers, the hot buttons that effect every decision, choice and/or opportunity we are presented with. If the goal/resolution which we consciously define does not align with our values which are stored in our subconscious no amount of planning, nagging or focused effort will put the goal in the back of the net. For example, let’s say one of my values is financial security and year on year I define one of my goals as becoming a millionaire, the likelihood of this happening without a lot of luck is pretty slim. Why? Because in most cases creating serious wealth demands an element of risk taking and this does not sit well with the concept of security and stability. Here’s another one, let’s say I set myself the goal of being more sensible and conservative with my disposable income like saving and investing in ‘grown up’ stuff like new car, house, bonds etc but I value adventure and curiosity – you do the maths?!!
In every case if the situation calls for a battle between your conscious and subconscious mind the latter wins every time. Goals are no match for deeply ingrained values. So surely it’s easy, if I really, really want something I just change my values right? Well, yes it can be done but it demands some serious mindset shifts and some serious soul searching to ensure the realignment is based on the right reasons but hey this brings us right back to personal development – the modern day equivalent of religion!
My New Year message is simply this – Be authentic and do what you have to do to shine, every day.
In the words of Marianne Williamson, my number one spiritual guide ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, talented, gorgeous, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’