Self Esteem – Is It Really Self Generated?

Self Esteem – Is It Really Self Generated?

After a busy week with several coaching sessions and mentoring meetings I am, once again,  questioning this thing called self esteem?  What is it?  What does it look like?  And, most importantly, how do we sustain it? It is clear is that everyone is searching for it, everyone wants it but very few people can define it?!

The dictionary definition is ‘Unduly high opinion of oneself’ now, that doesn’t sound such a great, sought after characteristic does it?  I am going to assume when we say self esteem what we really mean is recognition, validation and confidence and here’s the thing……. In all my work with women and young girls the key to personal transformation, change and a shift in self belief is generally this validation …

All anyone really wants is to be seen, to be heard and to know that what they say matters.  This is, in fact the focus of most coaching and mentoring relationships and I promise you if you keep it in mind it will improve any relationship in your life.  So I challenge you to try it for a month and let me know how you get on.   I see you, I hear you and I am interested in what you say and do.

Happy Olympic Friday!


  1. janecreativemind

    Thanks Jane – I will use the self-esteem mantra as a framework to ensure that my words and actions convey the message. Ultimately if the answer to the question – do you feel that people in your life hear you, see you and are interested in you is NO then we have a problem. I hear the phrase ‘I have low self-esteem’ too often without the person understanding what that means apart from permission to be miserable and not aspire.

  2. janekenyon

    everyone just needs valisationJane – I often think our key impact at Girls Out Loud is helping girls find their voice – all connected


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