As someone who is all about authenticity and emotional connection I find it challenging when people close to me go underground or hide as a way of dealing with disappointment, challenges or stress.
Is it not at these very moments in our life we need our support network, a shoulder to cry on or just a few words of hope? However, it is also seems to be in these moments when many of us choose to turn our backs on the helping hand and suffer in solitude. Why is this?
Are we afraid that if we show our true colours, if we dare to admit failure or show any vulnerability our friends will run off in the opposite direction or some of our shine will dull?
I fear we are still clutching hard to this notion of being perfect and when we fall off our self imposed pedestal we beat ourselves up in silence.
It does not need to be this way.
Where did we learn this? Who passed this life model onto us? Who told us we need to be on it, or invisible?
It saddens and frustrates me that we downplay our critical moments, feeling we need to navigate through them alone. I am not suggesting you put it all out there on social media every minute of every day! That’s another blog altogether! But I am advocating you embrace your vulnerability once in a while. You will be amazed at what happens. If we constantly lock out the people around us when s**t happens we are giving them the message that we don’t care for their support or that we see no value in their friendship or relationship in the bad times. Now, I know this is not how we feel but this is what our behaviour projects.
Furthermore, if the only side of you, you are prepared to share is the shiny, bubbly, little miss perfect then in the long term, you will only ever attract and keep superficial friends and fans.
Personally I want to peek into the soul of my nearest and dearest. I need emotional connection, without it I feel relationships are empty and we are just going through the motions. This is an excerpt from one of my favourite poems The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer (shared with her permission). It kinda sums up what I am saying. The full version is in my book on Superwoman mentioned below.
It doesn’t’ interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it…………………………..
For more tips on how to let go and release your authentic, real and multi-faceted inner Diva have a look at my book – Superwoman – her Sell By Date Has Expired. Time To Show Little Miss Perfect The Door. Available on Amazon. It might just open a door to the real you.